Rustkit of Thunderclan

[Swifttalon]

Name: Rustkit
Gender: M
Age: 6 months, needs a mentor.
Affiliate: Thunderclan
Rank: Kit
Looks: Rust colored like Firepaw/heart/star.
Personality: Active and goofy. He wants to be an apprentice really bad. Promises to be a good Warrior.
Birth: Rogue.
History:Was found wandering the woods at 3 moons old
RP Sample: Well... I already did one...

[Amberstorm]

Oookay. Swifty, you need some help with bios. Your looks need to be way longer than they already are. Sure, your cat is rust colored, but what other qualities does he have? What color are his eyes? Is his nose pink or black? Are his claws clear or black? Does he have a nick in his ear? Is his tail short? Is his fur short, long, or medium? Be creative, I know you have it in you.
The same with your personality. It needs to be longer! Sure, you've put down active and goofy, and that he wants to be an apprentice. However, I suggest you go deeper to make the personality longer. That, and we'll understand more about your character. I suggest that if you want to make a good personality, you could go in depth about your character's personality. Why does he choose to be active and goofy? Does he choose to be this way because he is hiding something behind that mask of getting the best out of everything? And why does he want to be an apprentice really bad? Is there something he looks forward to doing as an apprentice that he cannot do as a kit, such as escape from the camp and explore his home? Try going in depth about things and you actually might find that coming up with a good personality and looks can be quite easy.
And for your history, it is also too short. Way too short. Though you don't need a history for kits, try going in-depth, too. The whole 'found in the woods' thing draws me closer to your character, makes me curious about him. Why was he in the woods? Did his mother die? Why does he have a warrior name if he was a rogue? Was his name Rust before?
And to top my lecture off, Fang and Maximum Ride is awesome. *points to avvie*

[LEN KAGAMINE]

-pats Al-chan on the back-

Good job~! You get an A++ for ranting~.

[Amberstorm]

I wasn't ranting. I was giving Swifty necissary advice. *nods*

[Member]

YEAH! Neccessary advice. *nods*

[Amberstorm]

...I spelled neccessary wrong. *goes to study some more*

[Swifttalon]

Ok. I'll post it l8er. I gotta go now.

[Swifttalon]

Name: Rustkit
Gender: M
Age: 6 months, needs a mentor.
Affiliate: Thunderclan
Rank: Kit
Looks: Short, Rust colored like Firepaw/heart/star. Black nose. could be an Ancester/descendent of Pinestar. Claws are a little loner than average and black. One eye amber other green.
Personality: Active and goofy so he can get the best out of life. He wants to be an apprentice really bad so he can defend the borders from intruders. Promises to be a good Warrior.



Birth: Rogue.
History:Was found wandering the woods at 3 moons old. Ancesters could have once been clancats and the name tradition is intact.
RP Sample: Well... I already did one...
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")

[Amberstorm]

Eh. I guess I'll approve. There were grammatical errors, but I'll ignore that. X3

[Swifttalon]

YAY.

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