Idea for a book (This is just the prologue)
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Cheesles
Naruto
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Is it any good?
Idea for a book (This is just the prologue)
I've gotta run! It was nearly pitch black inside the warehouse, the only sound the slight squeaking of hinges as the only light swung back and forth from it's high point in the ceiling. This is bad... My thoughts were as scattered as the shards of glass on the floor, glinting in the moonlight onto my pale skin. The stench of stale blood lingered in my nose, stirring the dark emotions inside of me. I gritted my teeth, staring down at the floor. "Adailia, Adailia." That voice... I recognized that voice. It was warmer than honey and sugary sweet. I whirled to see where the voice came from. "You should know by now not to try and run. We will always catch you."
My heart stopped at his voice, so lovely even full of disappointment and exasperation. I clutched the Beretta closer, ready to fire if need be. "Now don't do that." His voice. This time from behind. I started to turn but icy hands grabbed my wrists, preventing me from moving. A burning, searing pain in my hands made me gasp, dropping the gun that was my only weapon. The smell of stale blood grew stronger and washed over me, stirring my emotions and bringing them just to the surface. "What do you want from me?" I growled in my strongest voice, hoping to intimidate him. His laugh chilled my spine.
"Of course you already know... My dear Adailia." I blinked. Yes. Of course I knew why he was after me. But I wanted to hear him say it himself. "I want to be immortal. Just like everyone else," His voice hissed in my ear and I shuddered, not daring to look his way. One of his hands let my wrists loose, cupping my face and turning it so I was looking him straight in the eyes.
I nearly screamed. His face wasn't of the beautiful boy I'd grown up with. Instead it was a shell of it's former self. A cheap imitation. Dark red hair drooped down into his face, framing his blue eyes. But his skin was sickly pale; I couldn't even feel blood pulsing through his veins anymore. He was still beautiful, yes, but this was cruel beauty. Then his aura cleared, and he revealed to me that he was no longer human through his thoughts.
My eyes were still wide with shock and horror as he smiled, still holding my wrists in one hand. Then I felt a stabbing pain in my abdomen and looked down. A long knife stuck out of my body, just below my ribs. Red was starting to stain the pure white fabric around the wound, and I looked up, eyes dulling with every breath I took. "Any demon who drinks another's blood and lives gains immortality. So says the legend." He reached down and took the knife's handle, jerking it out of my body. I gasped in pain, my breath coming less easily than before, as blood flowed more freely down the length of the gown.
The smell of my blood hit my nose just before I fell. Without realizing I had staggered backwards several steps and tripped, lying in a crumpled heap on the ground. Crimson was starting to pool around me as he stepped forwards, a pleased smirk on his face. "Don't take it personally. It's better that I killed you and drank your blood than any other demon. Because I can put immortality to good use." He stooped beside her, pressing his fingers to the blood-soaked concrete. I felt my fangs slide as the stink of blood grew stronger. "Don't," I managed to choke out, looking at him through half-closed eyes. He only laughed. "What, and miss this fabulous opportunity?"
I saw him press his blood-soaked fingers to his lips just before it took over. My vision filled with crimson, and my ears heard a loud shriek. Then all was quiet. And I was alone in the darkness.
END!
That was just the prologue of an idea for a book I've got. Please give me your opinion so I can make it better!
My heart stopped at his voice, so lovely even full of disappointment and exasperation. I clutched the Beretta closer, ready to fire if need be. "Now don't do that." His voice. This time from behind. I started to turn but icy hands grabbed my wrists, preventing me from moving. A burning, searing pain in my hands made me gasp, dropping the gun that was my only weapon. The smell of stale blood grew stronger and washed over me, stirring my emotions and bringing them just to the surface. "What do you want from me?" I growled in my strongest voice, hoping to intimidate him. His laugh chilled my spine.
"Of course you already know... My dear Adailia." I blinked. Yes. Of course I knew why he was after me. But I wanted to hear him say it himself. "I want to be immortal. Just like everyone else," His voice hissed in my ear and I shuddered, not daring to look his way. One of his hands let my wrists loose, cupping my face and turning it so I was looking him straight in the eyes.
I nearly screamed. His face wasn't of the beautiful boy I'd grown up with. Instead it was a shell of it's former self. A cheap imitation. Dark red hair drooped down into his face, framing his blue eyes. But his skin was sickly pale; I couldn't even feel blood pulsing through his veins anymore. He was still beautiful, yes, but this was cruel beauty. Then his aura cleared, and he revealed to me that he was no longer human through his thoughts.
My eyes were still wide with shock and horror as he smiled, still holding my wrists in one hand. Then I felt a stabbing pain in my abdomen and looked down. A long knife stuck out of my body, just below my ribs. Red was starting to stain the pure white fabric around the wound, and I looked up, eyes dulling with every breath I took. "Any demon who drinks another's blood and lives gains immortality. So says the legend." He reached down and took the knife's handle, jerking it out of my body. I gasped in pain, my breath coming less easily than before, as blood flowed more freely down the length of the gown.
The smell of my blood hit my nose just before I fell. Without realizing I had staggered backwards several steps and tripped, lying in a crumpled heap on the ground. Crimson was starting to pool around me as he stepped forwards, a pleased smirk on his face. "Don't take it personally. It's better that I killed you and drank your blood than any other demon. Because I can put immortality to good use." He stooped beside her, pressing his fingers to the blood-soaked concrete. I felt my fangs slide as the stink of blood grew stronger. "Don't," I managed to choke out, looking at him through half-closed eyes. He only laughed. "What, and miss this fabulous opportunity?"
I saw him press his blood-soaked fingers to his lips just before it took over. My vision filled with crimson, and my ears heard a loud shriek. Then all was quiet. And I was alone in the darkness.
END!
That was just the prologue of an idea for a book I've got. Please give me your opinion so I can make it better!
Re: Idea for a book (This is just the prologue)
o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o o.o...... That was amazing.
Cheesles- Member
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Re: Idea for a book (This is just the prologue)
Thanks! I kinda rushed it at the end because I had to go and do something else. But that's basically it in a nutshell. I might continue this story into a book or something if I like the idea enough. *Thinks*
Re: Idea for a book (This is just the prologue)
ts really clever, im gonna vote that poll nows
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Re: Idea for a book (This is just the prologue)
Pssst, you should name him JASPER! That really good btw. And soo is the name Jasper. xD
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Re: Idea for a book (This is just the prologue)
I gave the name Jasper and Adailia... First. *pwns*
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Re: Idea for a book (This is just the prologue)
I knoow you did. And its an ah-mazing name. Soo .. good for you lol.
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Re: Idea for a book (This is just the prologue)
HOLY.
SHIZ.
THAT WAS AMAZING.
YOU COULD BE LIKE, AN AUTHOR PERSON.
*is speechless*
SHIZ.
THAT WAS AMAZING.
YOU COULD BE LIKE, AN AUTHOR PERSON.
*is speechless*
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Re: Idea for a book (This is just the prologue)
She's right ja no *Nods* Jasper..I had a firend called Jasper. Is he gonne hunt me down and drink my blood? D=
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Re: Idea for a book (This is just the prologue)
Er...I dunno =3 I'm not called Adallia for sure
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Re: Idea for a book (This is just the prologue)
Lawl THEN HE WONT COME AFTER YOU! *Pats on back* You'll see teh rest of the story shortly. AKA when I get back from my week-long computer absence. *Goes to perfect plans to sneak on comp at dad's*
Guess what? I'm posting Chapter One! YAY! *Dances* Also. I have decided that the title will be Demonic Activities. If you have any better suggestions please tell me... Because my muse is low... XD
HERE IT IS!
Chapter One:
"Ugh..." The moan was muffled by my thick pillow. What time is it? I rolled over, still half-asleep, to look at the alarm clock on my bedside nightstand. My eyes flew open and I sat straight up. "Oh crap,"I muttered, picking up the little navy blue digital clock and looking at the glowing red numbers. Sure enough, my first glance hadn't been wrong. It was ten twenty. I overslept. Again.
I jumped out of bed, getting dressed quickly in a red tee-shirt and jeans. I was already halfway out the door when the phone rang. "Hello?"I said into the small piece of plastic. It seemed so fragile. Yet this particular phone had been dropped maybe a hundred times. Technology was advancing rapidly. As always. I sound like a hundred year old woman...I thought crossly, waiting for an answer.
"Adailia!"a happy voice chirped into the phone. Instantly my frustration was gone and I smiled. "Hey, Jasp!" I grabbed my backpack from the desk next to the door. "Are you still in bed or what? I've been outside your house for forever!" I rolled my eyes, though he couldn't see it. "No way! You're never up this early!"
But sure enough, as I strode through the living room, the doorbell rang. I grinned and snapped the phone shut, shoving it into my pocket and grabbing the door handle. As soon as the ancient wood creaked out of the way, I looked out to see my best friend standing before me, a grin on his face and his cellphone frozen halfway between his ear and his pocket. As always I was stunned by his beauty.
Of course he wasn't muscular or tall, but you could hardly look at the rest of him compared to his face. A gently sloping nose in between gorgeous blue eyes and framed on both sides by dark red hair. It was a wonder the kid didn't have girls falling all over him.
He titled his head. "So, are we gonna be late for the first day of middle school or what?" I snapped out of my daze and shook my head. "Nope! We're going to run the whole way." Though I might be a little bit faster than he was...
He nodded. "We have exactly... ten minutes! Go!" He took off down the stairs, me jumping down the stairs and running after him. Jasper was very... How could you put it... Punctual. He always got everything done on time. Likewise I did things at the last minute and slept till twelve PM nearly everyday I could. I easily caught up to him and overtook him, not feeling in the least bit strained. This wasn't even the fastest I could run. I was holding back. Majorly.
I reached the school in a matter of minutes. You're getting ahead of yourself.... Again. I scolded, sighing. It was just too easy to let loose... Even if I was holding back. I mean, normal fourteen-year-old girls didn't run thirty-miles-an-hour! I'm so freakin' stupid. I was lucky that Jasper only thought, at worst, I was taking steroids. Which was way off the mark. But I'd let him believe whatever it took to keep him from guessing.
He trotted up to me, gasping. Pale gray started to swirl around him. "You alright?"I asked, frowning in concern. He looked up. "Yeah... You're just... Really fast!"he said around harsh pants. But I could see that there was something more. Every time he over-exerted himself this aura surrounded him, a sickly gray color. What if it's starting to take over? The thought froze my heart.
No... He's only fourteen. It can't be yet.I reassured myself, chasing the dread away from my veins with a deep breath. See, there is a certain... Problem. You know how you have a Soul? Whenever a human is born, the first breath they take decides their fate. If they become killers or peace keepers. If they're good or bad. In my case I'm in between, because I found out. They could decide to make my fate horrible. Or they could keep it the same.
Either way it tears at my nerves everyday. I looked up, noticing how Jasper's aura was starting to fade into a happy yellow again. Good. Suddenly a chill went down my spine. And that's not. I knew from my inhuman instincts that this was an evil aura I felt around me. Definitely.
I looked around the corner of the building, towards the eastern entrance of C.C. Griffon MiddleSchool. The only thing I could see was the norm. Students filing into the door, either yawning or studying as the walked. The air was alight with pale blue and bright yellow. Sometimes a splash of pink indicated an early love stemming from summer vacation. Everything was normal. Except...
My eyes turned towards a tall oak tree standing around eighty yards from the entrance to the school. My heart seemed to stop at the pure evil black aura emanating from behind it. There. I focused on that one spot, though even the very depths of my soul wanted to run and hide, to be away from this unknown danger.
I extended my senses, closing my eyes and leaning towards the tree on the slight, autumn scented breeze. Immediately I fell into a swirling vortex of emotions. Images flashed before my eyes. Memories. I tried to make sense of all this, to put it in order. But all I could comprehend was a deep feeling of fear and pain, mixed in with anticipation for the kill.
I gasped, rocking back on my heels as I opened my eyes and snapped out of the trance. "Yo, Adailia? You OK?" Jasper was prodding my side, looking at me with scared eyes. "Y-Yea,"I said shakily, still shocked at the horrifying images I'd seen. "Well come on! We're going to be late!" He started sprinting towards the east entrance, waving for me to follow.
What was that? Normally I could piece everything together. Make something make sense. But this.... This was unreal. I'd never felt more afraid in my entire life. Even when I'd watched my parents get slaughtered right in front of me. This guy-I'd definitely determined that it was a man-was a psychopath. Or he was insane. I do hope that he was insane. Because he'd be more predictable if he was.
But, walking after my friend into the school, I looked back at the tree. The terrifying aura was still there, lurking behind the tree. I could feel his evil leaking into the air around us. Though I was the only one who could see it. As the doors closed behind me I saw a cloaked head appear around the side of the oak, face shadowed by the gray, red-stained hoodie he wore. I shuddered and kept walking. Maybe he was a figment of my imagination. But there was no mistaking the demented, anticipating look on his cloaked face as he'd gotten up and stared after me, the knife glinting silver in the sunlight in his hand.
~~~~
It's not very good.... or long.... but eh... XD Tell me what ya think and I'll keep you updated on all of my Demonic Activities!
Guess what? I'm posting Chapter One! YAY! *Dances* Also. I have decided that the title will be Demonic Activities. If you have any better suggestions please tell me... Because my muse is low... XD
HERE IT IS!
Chapter One:
"Ugh..." The moan was muffled by my thick pillow. What time is it? I rolled over, still half-asleep, to look at the alarm clock on my bedside nightstand. My eyes flew open and I sat straight up. "Oh crap,"I muttered, picking up the little navy blue digital clock and looking at the glowing red numbers. Sure enough, my first glance hadn't been wrong. It was ten twenty. I overslept. Again.
I jumped out of bed, getting dressed quickly in a red tee-shirt and jeans. I was already halfway out the door when the phone rang. "Hello?"I said into the small piece of plastic. It seemed so fragile. Yet this particular phone had been dropped maybe a hundred times. Technology was advancing rapidly. As always. I sound like a hundred year old woman...I thought crossly, waiting for an answer.
"Adailia!"a happy voice chirped into the phone. Instantly my frustration was gone and I smiled. "Hey, Jasp!" I grabbed my backpack from the desk next to the door. "Are you still in bed or what? I've been outside your house for forever!" I rolled my eyes, though he couldn't see it. "No way! You're never up this early!"
But sure enough, as I strode through the living room, the doorbell rang. I grinned and snapped the phone shut, shoving it into my pocket and grabbing the door handle. As soon as the ancient wood creaked out of the way, I looked out to see my best friend standing before me, a grin on his face and his cellphone frozen halfway between his ear and his pocket. As always I was stunned by his beauty.
Of course he wasn't muscular or tall, but you could hardly look at the rest of him compared to his face. A gently sloping nose in between gorgeous blue eyes and framed on both sides by dark red hair. It was a wonder the kid didn't have girls falling all over him.
He titled his head. "So, are we gonna be late for the first day of middle school or what?" I snapped out of my daze and shook my head. "Nope! We're going to run the whole way." Though I might be a little bit faster than he was...
He nodded. "We have exactly... ten minutes! Go!" He took off down the stairs, me jumping down the stairs and running after him. Jasper was very... How could you put it... Punctual. He always got everything done on time. Likewise I did things at the last minute and slept till twelve PM nearly everyday I could. I easily caught up to him and overtook him, not feeling in the least bit strained. This wasn't even the fastest I could run. I was holding back. Majorly.
I reached the school in a matter of minutes. You're getting ahead of yourself.... Again. I scolded, sighing. It was just too easy to let loose... Even if I was holding back. I mean, normal fourteen-year-old girls didn't run thirty-miles-an-hour! I'm so freakin' stupid. I was lucky that Jasper only thought, at worst, I was taking steroids. Which was way off the mark. But I'd let him believe whatever it took to keep him from guessing.
He trotted up to me, gasping. Pale gray started to swirl around him. "You alright?"I asked, frowning in concern. He looked up. "Yeah... You're just... Really fast!"he said around harsh pants. But I could see that there was something more. Every time he over-exerted himself this aura surrounded him, a sickly gray color. What if it's starting to take over? The thought froze my heart.
No... He's only fourteen. It can't be yet.I reassured myself, chasing the dread away from my veins with a deep breath. See, there is a certain... Problem. You know how you have a Soul? Whenever a human is born, the first breath they take decides their fate. If they become killers or peace keepers. If they're good or bad. In my case I'm in between, because I found out. They could decide to make my fate horrible. Or they could keep it the same.
Either way it tears at my nerves everyday. I looked up, noticing how Jasper's aura was starting to fade into a happy yellow again. Good. Suddenly a chill went down my spine. And that's not. I knew from my inhuman instincts that this was an evil aura I felt around me. Definitely.
I looked around the corner of the building, towards the eastern entrance of C.C. Griffon MiddleSchool. The only thing I could see was the norm. Students filing into the door, either yawning or studying as the walked. The air was alight with pale blue and bright yellow. Sometimes a splash of pink indicated an early love stemming from summer vacation. Everything was normal. Except...
My eyes turned towards a tall oak tree standing around eighty yards from the entrance to the school. My heart seemed to stop at the pure evil black aura emanating from behind it. There. I focused on that one spot, though even the very depths of my soul wanted to run and hide, to be away from this unknown danger.
I extended my senses, closing my eyes and leaning towards the tree on the slight, autumn scented breeze. Immediately I fell into a swirling vortex of emotions. Images flashed before my eyes. Memories. I tried to make sense of all this, to put it in order. But all I could comprehend was a deep feeling of fear and pain, mixed in with anticipation for the kill.
I gasped, rocking back on my heels as I opened my eyes and snapped out of the trance. "Yo, Adailia? You OK?" Jasper was prodding my side, looking at me with scared eyes. "Y-Yea,"I said shakily, still shocked at the horrifying images I'd seen. "Well come on! We're going to be late!" He started sprinting towards the east entrance, waving for me to follow.
What was that? Normally I could piece everything together. Make something make sense. But this.... This was unreal. I'd never felt more afraid in my entire life. Even when I'd watched my parents get slaughtered right in front of me. This guy-I'd definitely determined that it was a man-was a psychopath. Or he was insane. I do hope that he was insane. Because he'd be more predictable if he was.
But, walking after my friend into the school, I looked back at the tree. The terrifying aura was still there, lurking behind the tree. I could feel his evil leaking into the air around us. Though I was the only one who could see it. As the doors closed behind me I saw a cloaked head appear around the side of the oak, face shadowed by the gray, red-stained hoodie he wore. I shuddered and kept walking. Maybe he was a figment of my imagination. But there was no mistaking the demented, anticipating look on his cloaked face as he'd gotten up and stared after me, the knife glinting silver in the sunlight in his hand.
~~~~
It's not very good.... or long.... but eh... XD Tell me what ya think and I'll keep you updated on all of my Demonic Activities!
Re: Idea for a book (This is just the prologue)
*Sniffs Naru's hair* FOOFYFUL. I conclude that foofiful.
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